murmurings

words by Hannah Shen, art by Lanie Myaing

now, listen closely here. can you hear my voice—my whispers in the falling of the leaves, in the crunch beneath your feet? I am not just a sight to behold when I brace for winter/cold, for I stand tall against the roaring winds of typhoons. I laugh in the face of time, for it has no dominion over me. I have borne witness to the rise and fall of eons, to endless cycles of death and rebirth. I last adapted so long ago that those I had changed myself for no longer inhabit this earth; echoes of their existence persist only in how I refuse to change now. 

my closest relatives are no more—have been no more for almost longer than I can remember—and remember, I do. if nothing else, I am a living, breathing record of history. every single ring of mine tells a tale of the ages, of the indelible marks on my bark.

your kind have bequeathed upon me many names. silver apricot, you called me in the imperial courts. duck’s foot, white nut, your common folk deemed me—for my fan-like leaves, and for my pale fruit, revered and used to alleviate your conditions. I didn’t mind.  ginkgo, the living fossil, you called me, in a different tongue.  and much later, you honored me with the title of hibakujumoku—after you wrought your bombs on your innocent masses, after sickness plagued the land, and I stood—scarred and splintered, but tenacious. in the face of your hellbent destruction, I held on.

you see but a mere few cycles of my death and resurgence, come autumn-time, and not much more. but I have seen you, and your ancestors, and your ancestors’ ancestors, and I have seen how brief their breaths truly are. I have seen how you, with your flighty, transient lifespans, strive to accomplish greatness. mostly, it seems to me that your efforts lead you further from tian.

just a moment in time, so brief as to appear instantaneous, yet I remember it so clearly. breath held, eyes of wonder, as you behold me, as your ancestors once had, and you recognize me. a moment of appreciation, of a kinship that traverses time and space. those moments are few and in between, but I cherish them the most.